is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
