Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
