She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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