he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
