We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
