when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
