I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
