im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
