There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
