just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize