We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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