You're so nebulous sometimes
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
