So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
