good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
