Girls should come with a carfax report
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
