I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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