On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
