Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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