you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
