yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize