Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We need a shit load of segways right now
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
