Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
