You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
