I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
