but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
