D3 body, D1 cock
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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