in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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