Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
