carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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