this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
