"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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