I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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