Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So. Much. Porn.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
