it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
