I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
