Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
