It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
