Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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