i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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