that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize