i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
there is glitter all over my balls
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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