one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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