We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
