All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
