hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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