She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
