hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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