omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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