My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The air was thick with penises
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
