you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
they need to just BURY HIM!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
