So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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