the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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