Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize