do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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