Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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