You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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