i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
