I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
