he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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