if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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