Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
