You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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