I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
